It’s Breast Cancer Awareness month, and I know that because it’s damn near impossible not to. I’ve learned that all this really means that, for 31 days, everything turns pink. Profile pictures, font colors, email signatures and any/all articles of clothing are suddenly pink. Not to mention the fact that nearly every Twitter or Facebook picture has a pink ribbon image pasted to the corner of it, and every status message or tweet is a personal diatribe from somebody who is most likely usually annoying already. Listen, I really don’t give a shit whether or not you want to wear a pink shirt with a pink ribbon in a picture that will eventually be shaded pink with a pink font reading something uninspirationally cliche (in pink), but don’t try to make me feel guilty for not doing the same thing.
It would appear that those who do not contribute to the wave of bleeding pink hearts are looked at like some kind of heathen. I’ve recently taken a minor twitter beating from a few over-sensitive dickbags over taking a shot at Larry Fitzgerald, NFL Pro Bowl wide receiver, after comments he made in light of breast cancer awareness month and how he would “point to the sky if he scores” to remember his mom who died of cancer. I asked him, simply, “Is the cure for cancer in the sky?” to which he replied, “I wish.” As soon as pointing to the sky can cure cancer you’ll be able to brag about doing it. So he obviously didn’t pick up on my sarcasm, which is a damn shame, but that’s pretty much where this all started.
Look, I will not contend with the fact that cancer is an awful disease that takes the lives of loved ones sooner than what is fair. I will never make light of those who are unfortunate enough to be stricken with it. What I will contend with is the idea that people seemingly are thumbing their noses at me and the other people like me who don’t have a god damn ribbon on their profile picture, or a status to tell everybody how aware they are of breast cancer. It’s nice that you copy and pasted a ribbon to your profile picture or turned it pink, but I’m willing to bet the bald woman dying from the inside out with a month left to live would much rather you cut a check to a cancer foundation, buy an actual ribbon donating to a fund or take her to her final dinner and try to put a smile on her face. Congratulations, you know how to operate paint or photoshop, it’s a good thing computer design skills cure cancer…wait, nevermind.
I’m no worse of a person than you, we’re doing the same thing only I’m not lying to myself about it. It’s like praying – how to do nothing but still think you’re helping. And by writing this final sentence in pink and attaching the picture above, I have arguably done more than the average person for Breast Cancer Awareness month.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Dude, you really are not going to be happy with the google ads to the right of this page.
Haha, no they’re fine if they will actually donate to a cause. My whole point is aimed at the people who essentially do nothing but laud themselves like they’ve just cured cancer. Pasting a ribbon to your profile picture is free, and does absolutely nothing to help. Donating to a cancer fund is absolutely appreciated, encouraged and admirable.
as a person whose father and grandfather died from cancer i know that unless you are donating money directly to a hospital or a laboratory nothing you do matters. All those “non-profit” walks fat women do? what you think they are free to setup? those people work year round and they pay themselves with the money those fat women guilt out of their coworkers. and if you tell me it raises awareness then i tell you that unless you are saving your money to go to the doctors, you aint doing shit either. self breast exams actually arent nearly as accurate as people think and only delude women into thinking, “well, its completely impossible i have cancer, i just played with my boobs for 5 minutes.” so much of this is just women patting themselves on their back for having boobs and is one step above having pink on the asses of their sweat pants.
Glorious
I straight out asked a few people, “Do you think you’re helping by putting a pink image in yoru profile pic?… Do you really think the cancer patients are saying ‘Oh thank goodness that person put a pink ribbon on her profile pic where she’s double fisting two beers, it really makes all the difference.’ … do you?”
Their answers are usually, “shut up, dick” or something related.
Mate you should do Movember. Do you know about that? It started back in Melbourne and is about prostate cancer awareness. You shave and then grow the sweetest mo you can thru November. Check it out.
Sometimes I do that anyway. I mean, I forget to shave or get a haircut, then one day decide to do something odd, but I’ll call it whatever sounds more genuine.
The problem with prostate gland awareness month is that prostate glands just aren’t as cute as boobies. Prostate glands just make you think of urine, whereas boobies make you think of wholesome milky-type things. The same principle applies to why we have campaigns against clubbing cute baby seals, but catching and eating hideous catfish? Not so much. Pretty hard luck for the prostate glands and the catfish.
Spot on!
From a previously bald woman.
As a woman with breast cancer, I can assure you that your feelings are not at all lost on me. I was diagnosed on 12/14/2009 at the ripe old age of 42. Since then, I have had a total of 16 rounds of chemo, lost my hair (it’s back to about 2″ now), lost my job, gained about 25 lbs, and had a stroke…not to mention almost dying on the operating room table before they could even start surgery (btw, if you’re going to crash, I highly recommend doing it in the operating room where they have all that nifty equipment). My body is still horribly weak, and I still have more than one surgery, daily radiation (for about 6-8 weeks) and 5 years of a pill to look forward to. Prior to this past year, I have had no health problems, nor do I have a history of breast cancer in my family, so this has all been a shock to me. I want my life to be normal again. When you get diagnosed, you get inundated with information. Everything you can find on the internet about breast cancer is mailed to you in paper form. I do not want to be known as the woman with breast cancer…I want my friends to treat me as they always have, and I don’t want pity from anyone! Because of this, I don’t wear a ribbon on my facebook profile pic. While others may choose to show support in that fashion, I still have to deal with all the every day stresses of figuring out how to pay the bills when I can’t work, along with the stress of having cancer. I plod ahead and get through this with laughter, sarcasm, and killing people in Mafia Wars. The best thing people can do is donate money to their favorite charity; these pay for mammograms, biopsies, wigs, etc. If they want to wear a ribbon, that’s their choice, but they shouldn’t look down on people who don’t. For some of us, the color pink is almost as nauseating as chemo.
I’m watching football right now and wondering what’s up with all the shitty pink “flair” (what the hell, you guys? You don’t work at fucking Denny’s!) NFL players are currently adding to their uniforms. Could it be…?
Yeah its pretty awful. Every october now they do that, so pointless
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